Of course, we must give the preseason a proper send-off before displacing it from our minds. And what better way to do that than by highlighting—and unblushingly hyperbolizing—the biggest takeaways, concerns, storylines and surprises from this year's fall preview that will leak into the regular season?
Dwight Howard Career Update
This Dwight Howard career update has been brought to you by Dwight Howard.
MCW > D-Rose(?)
Surely the Chicago Bulls wouldn't let another player wear No. 1 mere months after Derrick Rose, the jersey's former owner and once Michael Jordan's heir apparent, was traded to the New York Knicks.
Or maybe they would, because they did, per Sean Highkin of the Athletic:
— Sean Highkin (@highkin) October 17, 2016
But then Carter-Williams stepped in and wiped Jerry Reinsdorf's handprint off Rose's cheek, per Chuck Garfien of CSN Chicago:
— Chuck Garfien (@ChuckGarfien) October 18, 2016
Meanwhile, Toni Kukoc, Ben Gordon, C.J. Watson, Tornike Shengelia and Justin Holiday are probably pretty pissed.
Cavs Still Don't Need to Play the Games
Or when the Toronto Raptors trade for Paul Millsap. Or when—well, you get the point.
No team in the Eastern Conference did enough over the offseason to threaten LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers' comfy reign. They are, as of now, NBA Finals locks once more.
The Hernangomez Takeover
There has never been a Hernangomez in the NBA. Until now.
When we have two.
Some people thought Juan Hernangomez was a draft-and-stash candidate for the Denver Nuggets, but it turns out he's factoring into their immediate plans. So you know he's going to be fun/good.
Willy Hernangomez has already endeared himself to New York Knicks fans. He is pure energy and, at 6'11", moves like a small forward. Though his role with the team isn't clearly defined, let's just say it's going to be tough for Kyle O'Quinn to get any playing time in the Big Apple.
And if all these miniature rookie-year victories don't warrant a special NBA2K edition, what does?
It's Raining 3s in Houston...
If the Houston Rockets maintain their current three-point pace during the regular season, they'll end up launching around 3,108 triples. And that's assuming their leading snipers—Ryan Anderson, Trevor Ariza, Eric Gordon, James Harden—don't average more outside looks with additional playing time.
Anyway, the league record for attempted treys in a single campaign, held by the 2014-15 Rockets, is 2,680. So let's go ahead and brace ourselves for the end of 2016-17, when Houston has obliterated that mark, shall we?
...And Bricks in Indiana
Is it really fine, though?
We're going to say yes, because Paul George is Paul George, and sub-40 percent clips from superstars in the preseason isn't terribly uncommon.
Then again, George hasn't cleared 43 percent shooting for an entire year since 2011-12. His efficiency is something to monitor within the Indiana Pacers' clunky offense.
Death Squad Remade
Apologies to Andre Iguodala, but the Golden State Warriors have no choice but to pull him from the new-look "Death Squad" in favor of Patrick McCaw, whose preseason exploits clearly portend a first-ballot Hall of Fame induction.
Fortunately for Iggy, he is still under contract and, unlike Harrison Barnes, won't be consigned to chasing first-round exits with a fringe playoff team as part of his exile.
Come Again, NBA GMs?
One-third of the league's general managers voted DeAndre Jordan as the NBA's best center. He beat out DeMarcus Cousins (26.7 percent), Anthony Davis (16.7 percent), Marc Gasol (13.3 percent), Karl-Anthony Towns (6.7) and Draymond Green (3.3).
I guess you could say—(looks over shoulder)—he squashed the competition.
With all due respect to Jordan, he isn't the league's best center. He's among them, as a superb pick-and-roll finisher and defensive anchor, but he's not the absolute alpha.
Shout-out to the hyper-progressive GM, though, who slotted Green as a 5. And can someone check on Andre Drummond, Al Horford and Hassan Whiteside, just to make sure their feelings aren't hurt?
Lakers, Unburdened
“I’ve talked to most of the guys over there [on the Los Angeles Lakers],” Stephen Curry said, per ESPN.com's Baxter Holmes. “They all love him [Luke Walton] and his approach to coaching their team. That says a lot about who he is and how he’s going to try to change their culture.”
A quick Google search will show nothing this complimentary was ever relayed about former Lakers head coach Byron Scott. D'Angelo Russell's preseason performance and demeanor are nothing if not proof that Walton will guide the team toward an immediate decade-long dynasty, give or take 10 years.
Whatever happens in Tinseltown this season, however many losses are suffered, at least we can be certain the Lakers' post-Scott era will include more smiles.
Future Pelicans Box Score
Given the New Orleans Pelicans' recent run of bad luck—read: complete inability to stay healthy—you will never convince me that putting a 23-year-old Anthony Davis into cryosleep for a few seasons is a bad idea.
This way, when the Pelicans are ready to compete, he won't have aged at all. And they, in turn, won't have squandered years off his prime.
Too Much Process
Low-hanging fruit here, but the Philadelphia 76ers' misfortune has left me no choice.
The 22-win joke from last go-round feels a bit generous after Ben Simmons fractured his right foot. On top of that, Nerlens Noel isn't expected to be ready to start the regular season, per Tom Moore of Calkins Media. Eclipsing the 20-victory plateau suddenly profiles as a chore.
Ah, well. At least Joel Embiid is healthy and driving the "Process" bandwagon.
Kings Gonna Kings
League sources told Basketball Insiders' Michael Scotto that the Sacramento Kings have talked with the Miami Heat about swapping Darren Collison and Rudy Gay for Goran Dragic—a less-than-sensible move for Sacramento.
Dragic hasn't lived up to expectations since arriving in Miami, and the Kings would be on the hook for the four years and $70.2 million remaining on his deal. If they were on the brink of contention, this is a trade you can justify knowing that Gay (player option) is good as gone. But they won 33 games last season, and Dragic doesn't push their ceiling much higher.
It's the Heat, in fact, who emerge as the mathematical victors of this hypothetical deal.
Their win total projects to increase by four, but you can also see them being on the cusp of top-five lottery contention—a place conducive to doing what the Kings refuse to do: hitting reset. Plus, there is value in shedding Dragic's contract ahead of next summer's free-agency slate.
Kevin Durant, Hypocrite
Consider this anecdote from Paul Solotaroff's profile on Kevin Durant's free-agency decision for the Rolling Stone:
That settles it: Durant is a hypocrite. How could he say that, and then sport Joey Lawrence's hand-me-downs from 1993, a Chef Curry-worthy magazine-cover outfit if there ever was one?
— Dan Favale (@danfavale) October 19, 2016
Opening-Tip Sadz
Injuries are, and will forever remain, the worst.
Stats courtesy of Basketball-Reference.com and NBA.com unless otherwise cited. Salary information via Basketball Insiders.
Dan Favale covers the NBA for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter, @danfavale.
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